Apparently Real Headlines of 2005
Monday, October 31st, 2005So, some of these are pretty odd. You wonder what newspaper editors are thinking sometimes. Enjoy.
Something Went Wrong
in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really]?
Police Begin Campaign
to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far]!
Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy]!
Miners Refuse to Work
after Death
[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos]!
Juvenile Court to
Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial]!
War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly,
It May Last Awhile
[you think]?
Cold Wave Linked
to Temperatures
[who would have thunk it]!
Enfield (London) Couple
Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something]!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape]?
Man Struck By Lightning
Faces BatteryCharge
[he probably IS the battery charge]!
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[weren't they fat enough]?
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]
Local High School
Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]
And the winner is….
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
