So, some of these are pretty odd. You wonder what newspaper editors are thinking sometimes. Enjoy.
Something Went Wrong
in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Police Begin Campaign
to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that’s taking things a bit far]!
Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy]!
Miners Refuse to Work
[no-good-for-nothin’ lazy so-and-sos]!
Juvenile Court to
Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial]!
War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]
If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly,
It May Last Awhile
Cold Wave Linked
[who would have thunk it]!
Enfield (London) Couple
Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something]!
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there’s something stronger than duct tape]?
Man Struck By Lightning
[he probably IS the battery charge]!
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[weren’t they fat enough]?
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That’s what he gets for eating those beans!]
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]
Local High School
Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]
And the winner is….
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead